


Bound by Chains of Names

by HappilyUnconventional34



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Heartbreak, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hurt No Comfort, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Lance (Voltron) is a Good Friend, M/M, Pidge | Katie Holt is a Good Friend, past allurance, sheith can be platonic or romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 16:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19444861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HappilyUnconventional34/pseuds/HappilyUnconventional34
Summary: "What about Keith?"Shiro doesn't know where it starts. The anticipation, the dread, that accompanies Keith’s name and he doesn't know where it end. Is it simply the fact that so many think that Shiro must invoke Keith when he’s alone? Is it the look of bewilderment that gets more and more frequent when Shiro confesses that he hadn’t spoken to Keith lately?---When do bonds break? When does hurt heal and is it ever alright to push someone away if only to forge a new identity for yourself?





	Bound by Chains of Names

**Author's Note:**

> Half of me is usually like S8 doesn’t exist but the other half is like ‘But the potential angsty prompts bitch.’
> 
> This story was born from my frustration at how S8 completely massacred the bond between Shiro and Keith, literally my favorite part of the show. I was stewing and the writer in me suddenly asked how can I make it worse? Why by having Shiro intentionally push Keith away of course, because I’m a heartless bitch. I want everyone to keep in mind that I’m not trying to make Shiro the bad guy here, even though he is a huge ass because I love Shiro and Keith in all forms, but I just wanted to explore some scenarios. Shiro is OOC cause everyone in S8 is OOC. So there. Also I made the way Keith views Shiro ambiguous. You can chose to see it as either romantic or platonic.

“What about Kogane?” Shiro captures the whispered question just before he rounds a corner. Instantly he ducks back behind the corner, least the gossiping cadets see him.

“Turns out they’re not even dating. Never have been.”

Murmurs of disbelief accompany that revelation.

“Yeah, I know right. Can you imagine how shocked I was when it got around that he was dating Curtis instead?”

Its been two weeks since Curtis asked him out. Three days since they went public. Shiro has been stuck in a permanent cloud of happiness and bliss since then. It's been so long since he’s let himself out there, and after the sting of Adam, the mess with the Galra, and the entire war Shiro would have never thought he’d have this feeling again. Curtis was absolutely amazing but if these cadets were anything to go by , it looks like not everybody was of the same mind.

“That’s so strange. Kogane and Shirogane are so close, you’d think they were already married.”

“Yeah. And didn't Kogane save him like a dozen time or something?

“That’s what I heard Mcclain saying one time. That Kogane has saved Shirogane more times than there are stars in the sky.”

“Hmm, I always expected them to get together. Sure as hell makes a lot more sense. I wonder what Shirogane was thinking.”

“Yeah.”

“One things for sure, I bet he had to run it by Kogane first, to get permission.”  
  
An inelegant snort follows that statement. “Yeah. Probably.”

Shiro stays in his little hiding space, even after the cadets footstep fade away and he’s left alone. His mind is thrumming in confusion and a bit of indignation. Curtis makes Shiro happy. He was nice, considerate and just the right amount of goofy.

What did his dating life have to do with Keith? Sure they were close, but not to the point were Shiro had to explain to the other who he chose to date.

Maybe it was a joke, an ill mannered one but a joke all the same, and Shiro was simply being too sensitive.

Nonetheless, the conversation swirls around in his head for the rest of the day, the happy daze he’d enjoyed for a week effectively gone.

\-----

“What about Keith?”

The question follows a routine Intel meeting. He and Sam are swapping stories about Lance, Hunk, Pidge and Matt when Sam’s innocent query comes completely out of left field.

Because as Shiro finds out, as he’s forced to actually stop and think about it, he doesn’t exactly know what Keith’s been up to because he actually hadn't been in contact with Keith for what felt like forever. He pushes savagely at the guilt and shame that accompanies the 7 missed and unreturned calls from Keith that are clogging up his data-pad

“Oh, I actually haven’t been in contact with him recently.” He tells Sam, because it’s the truth and there’s no reason to lie.

Surprise and shock dots Sam’s face. “Oh, That’s surprising. I would expect that you two would keep in regular contact with each other, as close as you are.“ It’s said completely innocently, no hint of underlying motives and yet Shiro, for the life of him, can’t help but detect the smallest hint of...judgment in those words and it ruffles him.

Why was everyone so shocked when he said he hadn't talked to Keith? Why was their correspondence such a noteworthy topic to everyone? Was Shiro not allowed to go for a certain amount of time before he was required to call Keith? Was Keith his minder? Was Shiro Keith’s?

But rather than say any of that, he rubs at the back of head, a sheepish smile on his face. “Yeah. We’ve both been so busy lately we just cant keep in touch as often as we used to. I’m sure we’ll finally be able to catch up the next time he comes back to Earth.  
  
“That would be for the best.” Sam says with an easy smile. “It’s just still kind of strange to see one of you without the other, to be honest. It's like the order of things are out of wack.”  
  
Shiro laughs along good-naturally and tries to ignore the ugly twist in his stomach.

That night, 7 missed calls become 8.

\---

Shiro doesn't know where it starts. The anticipation, the dread, that accompanies Keith’s name and he doesn't know where it end. Is simply the fact that so many think that Shiro must invoke Keith when he’s alone? Is it the look of bewilderment that gets more and more frequent when Shiro confesses that he hadn’t spoken to Keith lately? Is it the expectation for them to always be together, even though Shiro has a job, a boyfriend and life, when Keith is back on planet.

The resentment, he thinks, that develops, is natural in the wake of the stares, the glances and the unspoken words. Because Shiro is more than just Keith’s mentor, and friend and other half. He's Shiro, his own unique persona. And if he can see that why can’t everyone else?

And so calls go unanswered. Plans go unmade and check-ins go ignored as Shiro immerses himself in … himself. He's spent so much time thinking about what he was going to do before he died, he never made plans to that included what he wanted to do if he lived.

And if those plans didn't involve or revolve around Keith, will it’s not like he was doing anything wrong.

\---

“What about Keith?” Lance asks when Shiro pulls him aside and invites him to a small party to celebrate his upcoming birthday.

It was Curtis’s idea, really, to make it a grand ceremony. Shiro would rather they just spend it together, but his boyfriend was so excited about the prospect of being able to celebrate Shiro’s Birthday proper, Shiro can’t bring himself to protest. He’s already invited Hunk, Pidge and the Holt's and he’s just finished telling Lance. However Lance, as perceptive as he is in matters involving the group immediately picks up on the one name that’s missing from that list.

Shiro balks at Lance's question, the familiar spike of bitterness accompanying that familiar question. This is Shiro’s birthday. Not Keith and Shiro’s birthday.

“Keith can’t make it.” The lie rolls easily off his tongue, “He’s on a Blade mission, and he won’t be able to make it in time.”

There’s just enough truth in the lie for it to be valid. Keith is off planet and he probably wont be able to make it. Even if Shiro told him about the party, he probably wouldn’t be able to make it. Besides it’s not like Keith would care. It's just a little party. He has much more important things to contend himself with.

It’s fine.

Lance’s face immediately sours . “Typical.” He sneers, rolling his eyes, “Getting that guy to spend time with his so-called friends is harder than pulling teeth. Too much of a big-time hotshot to deign to grace us with his presence, no matter that it’s his best friend’s damn birthday and the one damn time he can actually celebrate it.”

“Now Lance,” Shiro tuts, something hot and nasty twisting in his stomach as he causally paints Keith as the inconsiderate friend, “You know Keith has a lot on his plate. It’s a big job trying to rebuild the Galra. I don’t mind.”  
  
“Well, I do!” Lance snaps, crossing his arms, “You’re too nice sometimes Shiro.”

Shiro chuckles good-naturally and shoos a still fuming Lance away with a lie-dressed promise that he’s fine with Keith not coming.

Because he is. Shiro feels the sense of guilt that nudges at the back of his mind when he thinks these thoughts, but he can’t deny his mood is a little lighter with the knowledge that Keith isn’t coming, that Shiro will have this moment for himself.

The birthday dinner is an absolute success. Curtis hits it off well with Hunk over their shared love of cooking, Matt and Pidge, much to their parent’s chagrin, have a drinking contest that ends with Pidge as the reigning champ and Shiro for the first time in a long time feels completely content, satisfied to bask in this little slice of peace that he’s carved for himself.

Shiro is so busy enjoying himself that he almost doesn’t notice how Lance spends the entire night avoiding his eyes.

Almost.

\--

The confrontation happens after dinner, after only Lance remains and Shiro is currently outside waving goodbye to Hunk, Pidge, her parents and Matt’s unconscious body as their car drives away. Curtis is busy inside clearing the dishes so Shiro is alone when Lance slides over to his side.

“Why did you lie?” The questions is quiet and mild but it might as well have been yelled with how much it rattled him. Shiro whips his head around to stare at Lance.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I called Keith.” Lance says mildly and Shiro stomach immediately shrivels, “I wanted to rail him. Drag him for putting his mission above you and try to bully him into coming to your party. Imagine my surprise when, as I’m halfway through calling him a selfish dick, he tells me that he has no _idea_ that you’re having a party. That he hasn’t spoken to you in _months_.” Lance’s eyes are glittering chips of ice as they bore into Shiro’s, “Interesting that. So, would you mind telling me why you felt the need to lie and say that Keith couldn’t come to your birthday party when you didn’t see fit to invite him in the first place? And don’t try to tell me that Keith was covering his own ass cause we both know he can’t lie for shit.”

‘I-“ Shiro tries to work words around the lump in his throat, “I can explain.”

“I sure fucking hope so.” Lance hisses and Shiro can tell that he’s barely holding on to his temper, “Because I fucking yelled at him. For something that wasn’t his damn fault because you lied to me.”

Something hot and ugly squirms in Shiro stomach as Lance causally lays the blame on his shoulders. “ I didn’t tell you to call him.”

“I thought I was helping. Thought I was coming to the defense by confronting a selfish and inconsiderate friend. Turns out I was yelling at the wrong person.”

Selfish. Rage washes over Shiro at the sound of that word. And suddenly he is looming over Lance, the fact that Curtis was only a small distance away the only thing keeping him from yelling “You don’t know anything Lance. You inserted yourself where you didn’t belong and made an ass of yourself. That has nothing to do with me.”

“But it has everything to do with Keith.” Lance snaps back, throwing his hands in the air, “For God’s sake Shiro, you don’t think we all noticed how shitty things have been between the two of you? How strained things are the few times Keith is back? How your face twists when someone brings up his name. Hell, I thought it was Keith and how he’s been distancing himself from all of us. But if you’re intentionally avoiding him, and excluding him and ignoring his calls then maybe we all got it wrong.”

“How did you know-”

Lance’s sneering voice cut him off. “About you avoiding him? About all the texts that have been ignored and the calls that have gone unanswered? Yeah, me and Keith had a nice long talk. What happened Shiro? I just want to understand. You and Keith have been attached at the hip for as long as I’ve known you guys. Whatever happened between you two can’t be worth throwing your whole damn friendship away, can it?”

Shiro can feel the bitterness begin to rise.

“So Keith can pull away from everyone and that’s fine, but it’s a problem if I distance myself from Keith.” Bitterness wells within Shiro because once again, everything that he is must be tied to Keith.

“Didn’t you hear me say that I literally cursed Keith out for that damn distance. None of this is okay. Me, Pidge and Hunk have been beside ourselves trying to figure out how to get Keith to spend more time with everyone but if this is how you’ve been treating him, I can’t blame him for not wanting to come to Earth.”

Now THAT wasn't fair, “Lance,”

“No Shiro! You have someone who loves you. Who would do anything for you. Whose risked it all for you.” Lance’s voice is thick with emotion, his eyes and cheekmarks glowing with fierce intensity. Shiro hears the yearning in his voice, knows he’s thinking of Allura and can’t help the shame that slams against his heart. “You don’t know how lucky you are to have that and you would just throw it all way? Years of friendship. And for what?”

“Because I’m happy.” Shiro’s outburst startles even him, but he’s just so tired of the looks, the look of shock, bewilderment and judgment when he reveals that his life does not revolve around Keith 24/7 and if he doesn’t say this soon he’ll burst . “I’m happy, Lance, for the first time in a long time. I carved this life through pain and trauma, myself. With Curtis, I’m just Shiro but with everyone else I’m Shiro and Keith, just another half who’ll never be whole. I love Keith, I do but just because he lives for me doesn’t mean I have to live for Keith. I’m allowed to have my own life. My own happiness. For years I haven't been able to be myself. I was the golden student, the capture, the champion, the leader, the clone, but I was never Shiro. In this life, I’m just Shiro and I like that. And I just want to be selfish for once and enjoy this happiness by myself. Is that so wrong?”

Lance doesn’t say anything for a long time and silence stretches into something uncomfortable and borderline judgmental.

“It’s not wrong for you to want to be happy, Shiro” Lance says, his voice soft and damning, “and it’s not wrong for you to want your own life. God knows you deserve it. But it wouldn’t hurt you to remember and appreciate the one who risked everything and gave you the chance to have that life.”

Lance leaves on that note, and Shiro, embarrassed and ashamed can only watch him go.

He makes a promise to call Keith before he goes to bed, to explain why he didn’t tell him about his party, to apologize, and try and smooth things over.

‘ _It was just a party.’_ He recites in his mind as he stares at his datapad. _‘Just one party. It wasn’t a big deal. Just one thing I didn’t include Keith in. That’s it. Can’t I have anything to myself?’_ Suddenly, Shiro feels his mood take a nosedive as he glares angrily at Keith’s number. _‘ Why should I have to justify something so insignificant? Keith has his life and I have mine. It shouldn’t always be Keith and Shiro. Why couldn’t Lance understand that. Why couldn’t everyone understand that?’_

A sudden message lights up his pad, drawing him out of his thoughts. His breath catches as he sees who it’s from.

Keith.

With shaking fingers, Shiro opens the message.

‘ _Happy Birthday, Shiro.’_

Shiro powers down his datapad without responding and joins Curtis in bed.

He never does contact Keith.

\----

“What about Keith?” Curtis asks Shiro as they sign and stuff envelopes with personally embellished wedding invitations. Curtis popped the question four months ago. Shiro was so caught up in the euphoria of the proposal, that he hadn’t thought to tell Keith.

Or at least that’s the lie he tells himself.

Shiro looks down at the little invitations. Curtis had picked out the designs and they were perfect. They’re in the final stages of planning. The venue has been reserved, their tuxes picked and tailored. Everyone else already knows the wedding is on the way and await their invitations.

Everyone except Keith.

But Keith is off in space, there’s nowhere to send the envelope. There might not even be a way to contact him. Shiro would like for him to come but there’s really no way to get in touch.

“I’ll find a way to let him know.“ Shiro drops a kiss to Curtis’s temple and goes back to stuffing envelopes.

It’s one week before the wedding that Lance tells him in passing that he’s already told Keith about the wedding so Shiro doesn’t have to bother.

The snide voice, the hunched shoulders and the glare tell Shiro that Lance hasn’t quite forgiven him. Shiro isn’t really looking for Lance’s forgiveness because Shiro really hasn't done anything wrong. But he still wants Lance at his wedding….moreso than he wants Keith. It’s taken a while to be okay with saying but even though the guilty twinge is still there, it gets easier and easier to silence with each passing day.

Shiro doesn’t ask Keith to be his best man. He doesn’t ask anyone to be his best man, but it stands out that he doesn’t ask _Keith_ to be his best man.

IF anyone finds it weird, nobody says anything.

Just the way Shiro wants it.

\----

The ceremony is beautiful and magical and everything Shiro every hoped and dreamed for. He’s on a cloud of bliss and joy, remnant to one he enjoyed when Curtis first asked him out, floating and flying all at once as He and Curtis present themselves to the crowd.

And then he sees Keith.

He’s standing close to the other Paladins who form a semi circle around. He’s so much older, his face more sculpted, more mature. His hair is tied in an elegant braid.

And he looks.. happy.

His face is set in a smile so heartbreakingly sincere that it steals Shiro’s breath away, his eyes warm and happy. Happy for Shiro. Happy for Shiro’s happiness.

Shiro looks for anything in those deep violet eyes.

Bitterness. Anger. Hatred. Anything to make the feeling of just not wanting to be around this man who was once his closest friend okay. To justify the desire for Keith to just not _be here_.

But in that gaze, all Shiro sees is endless love, unwavering devotion and a painful sort of understanding.

It makes anger, red hot and bubbling, bloom in the pit of his stomach. Because he’s the bad guy now then. The selfish monster that’s pushing his poor best friend away. Because screw Shiro for wanting his own slice of happiness. Screw Shiro for wanting his own life, a life where he’s not the damsel in Keith’s story, where he has agency, ability and competency. This is his wedding day, what should be the happiest day of his life and he’s spending it concerned more on Keith feelings than his won happiness. He hates it. Hates this guilt, this anger.

Keith looks away from him suddenly and Lance glares. Pidge and Hunk share uncomfortable glances and re-plaster on their smiles, a little faker than they were before.

Shiro cant imagine what his face must have looked like, when he stared at Keith, what emotions shined through when their eyes meet, but he doesn’t waste time dwelling on it as Curtis gently tugs his arm. They continue their presentation down the isles, all thoughts of Keith ignored in the wake of his perfect moment.

\--

The reception is in full swing by the time Shiro notices that some of his guests are missing.

He drops a quick kiss to Curtis’s jaw, side steps a long-suffering Colleen and Sam poised over an unconscious Matt, halfheartedly accepts the wave of congratulations and quickly makes his way over to the very edge of the venue, near the forest where he could have sworn he saw a brief glimpse of black hair.

-idn’t have to come.” Shiro picks up Lance’s voice before he sees him. He picks up the form of Pidge and Hunk as well. They aren't facing him instead looking at something that he can’t see. “You didn't have to do this to yourself.”

“You know that’s not true.“ Shiro physically jumps at Keith voice, soft and faint and unlike he’s every heard it.

“No one would have thought lesser of you if you hadn’t come.” Pidge says .

“I didn’t do this for me. I did it for Shiro. I wanted to support him. I wanted to be here to support his happiness. It’s all I ever wanted for him.”

“Keith.” Hunk ‘s voice boarders between firm and tearful.

“I’m fine you guys. Don’t waste your time focusing on me. This is Shiro’s special day. Make sure he enjoys it. God knows I cant do it apparently.”

Lance, Hunk and Pidge share a despairing glance but from the slump of their shoulders they realize that there’s no arguing with Keith. It doesn’t stop Hunk from lifting Keith of the ground in a hug or the friendly punch from Pidge and hair ruffle from Lance.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Lance throws over his shoulder as he Pidge and Hunk head back in the direction of the party. Shiro holds his breath as they pass, but they don’t turn and his hiding space remains undiscovered.

“They’re gone. You can come out now Shiro.” Or not.

Shiro guiltily ducks from behind his hiding space and face Keith. And suddenly, devoid of any people and distractions, it’s just him and Keith and the weight of years of broken communication and intentional avoidance comes crashing down on Shiro shoulders, the guilt threatening to bury him alive. He wishes Keith would yell at him, scream at him, do something, anything to break the silence, but he doesn’t, he simply remains a docile bastion in the maelstrom of Shiro’s conflicted emotions.

“Keith – I.” Shiro starts when the silence become to much, but Keith cuts him off, his voices small but strong.  
  
“I kinda knew, you know, when you stopped calling me, when you ignored my calls, when months went by and we didn’t talk. I should have guessed it when Lance called me, raving about how bad of a friend I was, going on and on about a party I never knew about. But it’s the fact that you didn't tell me about you’re wedding, that I had to hear about it from Lance, well that hammered it home. That you wanted distance. But I still came, because I wanted to wish you well. Even though I knew that I shouldn’t be here.”

The ‘you didn’t want me here’ remains unsaid. And Shiro, well, he’s just so tired of denying what he wants for the sake of other people. Keith’s given him an out and Shiro takes it, because in the end Keith will always give and Shiro will always take.

“We’ve been together for such a long time Keith.” It’s a struggle, to meet Keith’s eyes, to actually have to say this in person, instead of hide it deep in his heart where it’s festered into this big ugly mess. “And I’m- I just. I care about you Keith, I do, but I need to have my own life. It can’t just be Shiro and Keith anymore. Especially not now.“

Keith stares into the very depths of Shiro’s soul, and Shiro is struck at just how much older Keith looks, illuminated by the dying light of the setting sun.

“I understand. I do. I love you Shiro and all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. If that means I need to be out of the picture, then so be it.” No wavering, no hesitation. Complete conviction laces Keith’s statement and Shiro finds himself drowning in it. He can’t speak, can’t take his eyes off Keith. He’s never really known what the visual representation of seeing someone’s heart breaking looked like, and now he wishes it had stayed that way. But he can’t find it in him to deny Keith words, to give Keith the answer he needs.

Keith must find his answer in Shiro’s eyes, however. He steps forward and takes Shiro’s hand, the flesh one, in his. “It’s okay, Shiro.” Keith’s voice has the consistency of broken glass, but that smile never wavers and the deep love in his eyes never fades, “I knew this day would come.”

He gives Shiro’s hand a soft squeeze and then he’s stepping away, away from Shiro, away from his new life. Shiro watches Keith as he walks away, disappearing into the darkness without a single glance back.

That night, Shiro deletes Keith’s number from his contacts. The relief that accompanies the action tastes like ashes in his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing this broke me. Thus all of you are required to suffer with me.
> 
> I hope I portrayed Shiro the way I intended, extremely selfish and begging to be punched in the face but not evil. Technically there’s nothing wrong with Shiro wanting his own life and trying to protect his happiness, BUT there is ALOT wrong with Shiro phasing out Keith and pushing him away when Keith has done nothing but loved and supported him. Wanting happiness is not selfish, acting like a piece of shit to the person who gave you a chance at that happiness is. So, I hope I was able to portray that well. I also tried really hard not to bash Curtis despite how much his existence frustrates me! In the end Are Shiro feelings his own, or are there residual clone thingies to blame, you decide. Whatever dries the tears.
> 
> Any S8 why you do that to my Shiro and Keith relationship. I will never get over how Keith is the one whose always saving Shiro but when Shiro had the chance to save Keith in S8 He. Literally. Just. Stood. There! WHY? Season 1-7 Shiro would fucking never! 
> 
> I might make a sequel where Keith finds happiness and Shiro gets his head out his ass if there’s enough of a demand for one.


End file.
